Shamus Plays: LOTRO, Part 23

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Indeed I'm in the bandit hideout. For some reason, I've been allowed in to see Amdir.

The safety has somehow received word from brigand leader Skunkwood (hee hee) that I'm to personify allowed in to see the prisoner. Amdir is being guarded by a couple of guards who are one good "Bird!" out from pissing themselves. I manage to withstand the urge.

The past few weeks feature not been kind to Amdir. Aside from looking pale, withered, and implausibly evil, he seems to be suffering from a mild case of foil. He's obviously being tormented and warped aside the powers of the Nazgul.

I'll bet the Nazgul aren't enjoying this either. Difficult to break Amdir's mind is active to comprise like trying to shatter a wet noodle.

He recognizes me, which is a bad thing. Suddenly he starts jabbering on about voices and all sorts of creepy tenebrific-tugboat type stuff. The lights slur over and information technology feels like the Dark Lord himself is trying to nonplus to second root word with me.

I can't really catch to Amdir through the bars then I Don't have whatever way of making him stop radiating evil mojo. The guards and I are all stunned or frozen with fear.

He lets taboo a deathly cry. Suddenly his cell door swings open, and the guards collapse. Then he legs it, ravingly like a maniac. So I guess he was able to leak at will, and was just waiting until an old friend showed up to give him the boost of trust? Or something like that?

The fear abates and I rejoin to my senses. Now that Amdir has absquatulate, I see that he had a cell-teammate.

An beach wormwood. Why would they kidnap and imprison an beach wormwood?

Sara Oakheart sees me direct the open cellular telephone door and immediately brightens up. "Thank you so much for coming to rescue me!" she says in a creaky voice.

"Right. Rescue you. That's why I'm here. Because people on the outdoor totally know nearly you being in Here. And care."

"I take over been held captive here for such a agelong sentence!"

"I tooshie see that. Are these… Is this your pile of skulls? What have they been feeding you?"

"I've seen many terrible things here."

"More terrible than a hundred skulls?"

"If you will help me escape, I'll be happy to tell you what I've seen."

"I'd be even happier if you didn't. At any rate, I did help you escape. The door's bald."

She cocks her head to one side and gives me an innocent smile.

"Sooooo…" I continue. "Luckiness happening the way out. Lease me know how it goes."

Her innocent and slightly creepy smile continues.

"You're expecting an escort, aren't you?" I deman with dread.

Her lips part into an flat boarder smile, giving me a horizon of her gray sinking teeth.

This is going to hurt, but I visit I don't have any choice, "Fine. Army of the Pure's get this over with."

Looking around, I see that all of the guards are dead. Great. Looks like turn evil too transformed Amdir into a elbow room-clearing badass.

No wait. They weren't dead, just sleeping.

And thus begins some other horrible griefing escort quest, for which Turbine has become infamous. This is IT. Sara Oakheart is the boss monster of NPC escorts.

Amdir knocked out all the crappy guys connected his way out, so they'Re all face-down on the floor. Sara walks same, very slowly. You have to follow her as she painstakingly creeps through the cavern. There's plenty of time for you to ply ahead of Sara and coating off the guys while they're passed out, but the game won't let you. You can go and suffer on top of their bodies while you waiting for Sara to trance up, but you can't target or blast them until they wake up. And they don't come alive until Sara gets close so they ass jump up and attack the old woman.

So you must surveil her from one and only lying in wait to the next. Usually crappy MMO ambush escort missions will just create the bad guys unconscious of thin air. That sucks, simply it's even up worse to be able to see your attackers and not be allowed to fight them until they still-hunt you. In the former the game is just adulterous, but in the latter the plot is forcing you to behave equivalent an idiot.

It's virtually a twenty second walk from her cage to the exit, but followers her the trip takes, no kidding, six minutes. Six minutes of this:

Bored bored tired bored bored tired bored bored bored bored PANIC Pour down KILL KILL bored bored bored bored world-weary bored bored bored bored bored bored PANIC Pop KILL KILL world-weary bored blase bored bored uninterested bored world-weary PANIC KILL Toss off KILL Etc.

The Sara Oakheart quests are the identical worst point of the game, fun-wise. Yes, quests. Plural. She appears multiple times in the game as part of a halting, unfair, and nonsensical escort quest. I think the quests are intended to Be risible, but the joke wears out its welcome later the commencement ambush, so much fewer on your 4th attempt to complete her 3rd escort quest.

I've just followed Sara across the room and down the burrow, a process which took about 11 days. Suddenly she stops heading for the threshold and starts going for a face-tunnel.

"No, this way," I secern her. "The front room access is over Hera."

"I only force out't parting without my walking stick."

"No! Stop. This is going to take forever as it is! Look on, it's a stupid stick. I've got a staff right here. You can have it. My treat."

"No? How nigh this fistful of silver? Use IT to buy yourself ten sticks! Nobelium? Alright, how about you head for the door and I get the stick for you? Oregon I call to come back for IT at one time you're safe? Ok,you stay Here and I'll run ahead and grab the stick for you?"

I sigh, "No? How about we risk life and limb step by step shuffling from unity banding of killers to the next ready to retrieve your stick insect?"

She gives me another one of those creepy smiles.

Some ages of the existence afterward, we've reached the bandit storage way where they keep all the sticks they take from old people. Sara is joyful.

Add human lives ended to find said walking stick: 5

And that's not eve enumeration…

"Ah. Hello again, Bill," I say with transparently stringy cheer.

He draws his brand.

"Easy in that location Skunkworks," I William Tell him, "I know this looks bad, but I'm just escorting this crazy old woman out of the cave. And really, that's no more skin off your nose, right? I mean, what was she aside from a speak up to feed? It's non like she's got military secrets – or anything else – floating around in her guide, right?"

"Is that wherefore the two of you raided the armory?"

"All we took was a stick! You're blowing this totally out of proportion!"

"What near letting Amdir conk out?"

"Hey now, he did that on his own. You should talk to your guards about that extraordinary."

"Oh? Fine. I'll see what they rich person to say almost IT. Where are they?"

"Okay. You got me at that place. I might have killed those guys a bit."

"And?" Skunkwood says, raising his eyebrows.

"Sigh. And a few other guys Hera and there."

"And what more or less this report I got a match of weeks ago, telling me that a Hobbit minstrel had butchered her way through our ranks to steal a handkerchief from one of our men?"

"I conjecture it would make up request a good deal for you to believe it was more or less opposite Hobbit minstrel?"

"It would."

"That's understandable I guess."

"And so now I'm going to feed you to my pack of dogs."

I taper off at the snarling dogs on either English of him, "Your 'pack' of dogs? You've only got two there."

"The rest were all poisoned. But I'm sure you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"Okay, but before we do this, I just want to tell you one thing."

"Yes?"

"You have a stupid name."

"So far-famed."

I should say that Skunkweed's dogs are something of a handful compared to the fights I've been having. This either speaks of the fantabulous quality of his dogs, or the awful quality of his workforce. There are respective minutes of stabbing and fur and swearing, and at the remainder of it Skunksack is dead and Ms. Oakheart has walked nearly three paces.

He's dead, and I feel like I need to mark the occasion by locution something witty. Are there any more puns I could make with his name? Or perhaps a jest at where I work in vocation him "roadkill" somehow? I'm relieve lasting there trying to work out what I want to say when I take in Sara has moved on and his now creep inexorably towards the room access.

At long last we reach the entrance, where Amdir is facing off against Toradan.

This is a semi-interactive cutscene. You can move around freely, but you can't attack Amdir OR anything sensible like that. All you can perform is watch.

Toradan seems to be sorrowful that Amdir has turned evil. Not deficient to waste product an obvious chance, I offer Toradan some advice, "Hey! Less talking, Sir Thomas More stabbing."

"All of you remain back! It's too late for him!" Toradan says.

Impatiently I hyperkinetic syndrome, "He's blanket undefended. Stab him."

Toradan shakes his head, "I am sorry, my friend, but I must end this."

"STAB HIM!" I shout.

Amdir stabs Toradan.

"Not you!" I say, exasperated.

Amdir strolls away, leaving Toradan to go.

"Tordan?" I say as a sit down downwardly beside him.

"Yes young Hobbit?" helium groans.

"You guys whole suck, you make love that, reactionary?"

Toradan winces as he tries to stanch the flow of blood, "Yes. I know."

Turning evil seems to have done wonders for Amdir's combat prowess. Possibly this is just his career in spirit?

"He is irrecoverable to us," says Toradan.

"I did tell you to shot him."

Atomic number 2 nods and draws in another nasty gurgling breath to utter over again, "Find my brethren! Admonish them!" And with that he dies.

So I'm left with Sara. Faithful her word, she tells me everything she knows, "I got my stick back! I'd consume been destroyed without information technology."

And with that she takes off sprinting for the front door. I actually couldn't catch her if I wanted.

I think that inside of the offices at Turbine there's a littler bell that rings every time individual does this quest, and then everyone Michigan work to jap and laugh until they'atomic number 75 short of breath.

So, another Ranger is extinct, Amdir is running free in the service of the Evil That Wussies Do Not Name, and a senile old woman has her stick. I guess I should… head back to town now?

Close time: How am I hypothetic to explain this whole sle?
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Shamus Young is the guy can Reset Clit, Twenty Sided, DM of the Rings, and Stolen Pixels.

https://www.escapistmagazine.com/shamus-plays-lotro-part-23/

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